This last week, I have been re-reading my journals from the last several years. It is such an eye-opening experience to read about my experiences with the knowledge of knowing how the stories end. As I read them, I realize that I was not always good discernment. Several times in my life, I moved forward with decisions even when my gut and prayer told me not too. It seems very clear when I read my journals that I should not have gone in the direction I headed, but I went in that direction anyway. (Example, a job that was not right for me, and I took it anyway. That is a story in itself!)
When I did this, I found myself months later restless, empty, frustrated, and angry. While I wish I had chosen to “go with my gut” and with what I was hearing in prayer, discerning poorly has taught me to wake up and pay more attention to feelings when making a decision, and also listening to what arises in prayer. God uses those feelings of uneasiness or the red-flags in our head to communicate to us.
I can laugh at myself today because my road of discernment eventually led me to finding my home in my professional life. It was only, though, after making a couple of pretty bad decisions about my career that I discovered my home…ministry.
What in my life have I done that indicate I am not a good listener?
What have I learned from those experiences of not listening to God’s nudges?